Compulsion

Today I was thinking about all of the times that I have felt compelled to write everything I am (or was) thinking and feeling. For some unknown reason the thought of expressing myself through written (or typed) word appears...liberating. That's why the title of this entire blog is "The Vent". 

Is this compulsion inherent, or contemporary? 

If it is inherent, then why do I sometimes feel as though expression deserves a reprimand? 

If it is contemporary, then why do I waste my time?

The conclusion that I've come to for the time being is that my motives are what deserve examination. Has personal ventilation replaced prayer? In my case I'm afraid so. I've discovered (with Divine guidance, I'm sure) that I want to be in control, to lean on my own understanding, to feel the satisfaction that results when someone verbally and physically sympathizes with my frustrations, heart aches, fears, and joys. 

The tragedy is that I seem to have forgotten that I have surrendered control, that my duty is to trust in the Lord with all my heart, and to completely forsake my understanding. Most beautifully, I have a high priest who is able to sympathize with my weaknesses. Why would I neglect 'venting' to Him?

My prayer is that I will completely return to my first love. For whom have I in heaven but thee? And there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.

-Psalm 73:25

A Touch

On Thursday I found out that I will most definitely be graduating next May. This news took me by complete surprise, because I was convinced that there was no way I'd graduate then. I hated the idea not because I'm just ready to be done with L.U., but because I wanted to be able to graduate with my BF, and roommate. So hearing the news put a little spring in my step, and I was bouncing through Target when my BF/roommate called me. I couldn't wait to tell her the news...but she had news of her own to share.

"Devastating news," as she put it.

"I'm not coming back to Liberty after this semester..."

What the junk!?

My whole day was completely ruined. All I kept thinking about was how nothing is going to be the same next semester. Before going to sleep that night, I grabbed my Bible to continue reading through Genesis. I started reading, but I wanted something relevant...a "touch". So I asked God to lead me to something that would bring comfort.

This is it:

"Satisfy us in the morning with Your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days."
-Psalm 90:14

His love satisfies me. Oh, does it ever! His steadfast love is (and should be) the source of my rejoicing and gladness. The source.

Disappointment is an inevitable part of life. I am so thankful that the very One that created me loves me with a resolute love. I am also thankful that He has blessed me with two incredible roommates! Naomi and I will miss Ashley a ton...she'll never be replaced! 

Ashley, if you ever read this, two verses just came to mind as I was thinking about you and this situation. I know they're quoted often, but that's ok, right? 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." -Jeremiah 29:11

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." -Isaiah 26:3