3.29.2007

More on Mystery

God recently shed light on some dirty stuff. not so much in my life, but in my soul. i was doing things i didn't understand. He's helping me understand now by shedding that light.

abandonment and rejection are two things i fear. these fears produce a lack of trust and faith, and a surplus of skepticism and wild imaginings.

"the one who fears is not made perfect in love."
1 john 4:18c

"there is no fear in love."
1 john 4:18a

"perfect love casts out fear."
1 john 4:18b

i have not been giving myself over to be made perfect in love. i've been supressing these events and feelings that result in fear. it's ok to acknowledge them. this is what the Lord desires. i don't believe that He wants me to pretend like stuff didn't happen and cover it up with a smile. He wants to shed light on it and heal me.

isn't that what He promised? an abundant life?

yes!

"I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."
john 10:10

now i must have faith in Him, and trust in His promises.

"For You light my lamp; the Lord my God illumines my darkness."
psalm 18:28

may He continue to illumine my darkness, and make me wholly His.

3.28.2007

Mystery

i've been reading "velvet elvis" (rob bell). the latest chapter was called "tassels". one of the many things he writes about are the "mysteries" of our past that make us respond to certain things the way we do.

while reading i thought to myself, 'yea, i don't really have any.'

sike!

i have some pretty serious ones. i prayed that God would reveal them. He's faithful.

He's also my strength.