Is this compulsion inherent, or contemporary?
If it is inherent, then why do I sometimes feel as though expression deserves a reprimand?
If it is contemporary, then why do I waste my time?
The conclusion that I've come to for the time being is that my motives are what deserve examination. Has personal ventilation replaced prayer? In my case I'm afraid so. I've discovered (with Divine guidance, I'm sure) that I want to be in control, to lean on my own understanding, to feel the satisfaction that results when someone verbally and physically sympathizes with my frustrations, heart aches, fears, and joys.
The tragedy is that I seem to have forgotten that I have surrendered control, that my duty is to trust in the Lord with all my heart, and to completely forsake my understanding. Most beautifully, I have a high priest who is able to sympathize with my weaknesses. Why would I neglect 'venting' to Him?
My prayer is that I will completely return to my first love. For whom have I in heaven but thee? And there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.
-Psalm 73:25
1 comment:
I can see where you're coming from. I do think sometimes I "talk" to others whether it be through blogging, email, phone, etc. more or at least before I talk to the Lord about things. However, what I like so much about blogging if it doesn't take the place of giving things to the Lord, is that there's some sort of vulnerability or transparency or humility (or all of the above) that comes from it. I think it makes me less prideful and more apt to admit I am a filthy rotten sinner. So I say all that to say...please don't stop blogging. I love to hear what's going on with you. Love!
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