9.13.2007

Late Night Post

I'm stuck awake, perfect time for another attempt at a random post!

Today was probably THE best day I've had at Liberty so far. Classes were great. Then after class I went to the post office and met a lady who told me about a church that I hope to visit. I'd only known the lady for five minutes and when we left, she gave me a super long hug. It was such a blessing...I haven't had a long hug in a while. (I miss you JuJu-Bee...can't wait til the 29th!)

My youth ministry professor suggested today that the parable of the Prodigal Son isn't about backsliders who recognize the error of their ways and eventually return to the Lord. Instead, the Prodigal was lost to begin with. The Gentiles would have identified with him. The pharisees would have identified with the older son that gets jealous, though he was always with the father. If this is true, then what of backsliders? Is there really such a thing as a backslidden believer? Maybe not...

Think of the parable of the four seeds. One seed never sprouts. Two seeds fall on separate grounds and produce temporary results. They appear to hold the promise of being fruitful and true, but both die.

Only one yields a harvest. Only one is proven true.

I don't believe that a true child of God can lose their salvation. But the more I study, the more I believe that one can have the appearance of a genuine believer, only to be proven false in the long wrong.

Think of Judas. He was one of the twelve disciples. He beheld God in the flesh. He actually kissed the face of God. Yet the kiss was one of betrayal. He had the appearance of a disciple, but was untrue.

Scary.

Like the title of this post says...it's late. I would love to expand, but my brain is shutting down. Maybe I'll pick up where I've left off some other day.

9.12.2007

Can't Relate

Relationships are so complicated...at least for me they are. I have so many reservations, fears, and insecurities. I always have my defenses up, and I question EVERYTHING. Lord, help my future husband. He's gonna have his hands full in the beginning of our relationship!

I get to see Ella and Luke in 3 days! I can't wait. Luke's gonna be my cuddle buddy.

I need a dog. Or a really good teddy bear. Or I could just kidnap Luke.

I saw Evan Almighty tonight. Just to clarify, the flood was indeed about God's wrath...not about people 'working together in pairs'. That's just silly. One thing I did like: "God" says, "If you ask God for patience, He won't give you patience, He'll give you the opportunity to be patient."

Well...good night.

9.09.2007

None

So I painted on a canvas for the first time last night. It was really relaxing and mind-emptying. (Because I would try really hard to think of something to paint, but nothing would come!) I'll have to start doing it when I have alot on my mind and want a break.

I'm beginning to feel complacement. I would contribute it to not having enough time to get plugged in to anything, but that's not it. My personal, individual alone time with the Lord is just slackin. I love Liberty, and learning about the Lord in class, but I sometimes fear that it will become routine. That my relationship with God will become less intimate and more "knowledge driven". I really don't want to be one of those people.

Today I was thinking about how easy it is for a person to appear one way, and be COMPLETELY different when you get to know them. For example, someone can have the appearance of being full of integrity, honesty, faithfulness, compassion, and passionate about the will of God. But then you get to know them, and you find that NONE of these things (or any other qualities that you may like to add) are accurate descriptions of the person.

This was really discouraging to me...because it's usually not until after you've developed a certain level of respect, admiration and even love for this person that the facade begins to fade. So then I'm faced with this dilemma: how do you trust that the person you're talking to is really who they appear to be? Is it possible to find someone who really is what you see?

Then I thought about this: I can't see the Lord, but I never question His character. He doesn't change. He is always who He says He is. Sometimes I long to see Him, to literally feel Him, to be held and comforted by Him, but I find greater comfort in knowing that He is Truth. He will not disappoint. He will not fail. My eyes may not catch glimpse of Him, but my heart sees Him.

And He is absolutely breathtaking.